What is the reason?

Okay, so I'm trying to figure it all out and it is so not easy. If I knew or understood why anything happens and particularly to me, it would be a miracle. I watch other people and they seem to have so much luck with things. With decisions, with finances, with romances, with just plain getting on with it and I am still struggling with figuring out yesterday's errors, let alone tomorrow's errors to follow.



I guess it doesn't much matter anyway. I will have the same stuff going on when I wake up in the morning as I do right now. Everything that could go wrong has and I wonder how many other people in the world feel exactly as I do?



I have had more bad luck than any single person I have ever known in my life... but that would just mean I don't know lots of people because surely there are others who have way more bad luck than I right? And I should not be such a baby about it, but I am tried of it all. I really am.



So should I publish this? Is it worth it or are blogs just for writing good news and good things for people to read about? If you write about things that are hard and whatnot, would it be too embarrassing to review later?



I have so very many thoughts reeling through my head all the time and at any given time that I want to write them all down. I want to write and to write and then when I get with pen and paper, it will not come. Why is that even? And of course, there is the carpel tunnel thing that prohibits me in a way... actually it doesn't, I tend to ignore it. But my hand it is screaming at me now.



So my biggest question for today or tonight or at this time is, who will read this or who will want to?