Existing

 Barely making it, existing on the whims of the rich and powerful we wonder how we will handle a sickness if one of our children take ill?  We wonder each day how to get to the next with some bit of courage and optimism?  Why?  And How?  These are the two main questions that plague the masses in America.

They call us their "constituents" and what does that really mean to them?  They have their health insurance in tact.  In the event the have a cough or feel an ache, it is easy to make an appointment to their physician.  But what about those of us who have worked a million years to get to 50 or so and then we lose the job of 28 to 20 years and then we are on unemployment for what we think will be just a month or so and that month or so turns into 2 years plus and there is no end in sight with the exception of contract work through temporary agencies that are wracking up right about now, the big corporations REFUSE TO HIRE the help they need because they do not want to see a black man's plan to stabilize a country come to pass..  so they exist and make their way on the half.  The half that makes them comfortable and keeps them in business.  What in the hell is wrong with this country when greed surpasses not just common sense but common decency?  Or are we seeing the true colors of America for the first time in maybe 150 years?

So tomorrow I will go out there again.  Put on my war paint to make be look like I am a part of the equation.  Go to my contract, temporary job which ensures I am separate and not equal, make a little money, enough to feed my kids for another week, but not enough to put away for some foreseeable retirement and most surely not enough to consider if illness should come.  I will go to the clinic and see if they will once again give me the meds I need for my diabetes, but if they don't then I will look around me and wonder what I did wrong here in America?  Was it because I was born, like so many others? 

They will not hire us and allow the economy to get better, this would result in positive changes during the tenure of a man they despise and as long as they are covered and they can smile at the constituents, they will coast along and take what they can, while we the masses continue to plan for a day that may never, ever come.

I wish sometimes that I were dumb!  Just stupid with no ability to see through the bullshit.  They say ignorance is bliss and this is one of the truths of life I really believe, because in ignorance, you are relieved of all the conning and wickedness that surrounds one on a daily basis.  To the youth I say, try and find away to respect each other, without the bias' that may have been planted in you by your fathers, try to make a way to let each man live his one life in peace and harmony with the masses.  In this great country of ours, we are presenting to the other countries of the world just how much hate can be rendered to one's fellow man.

My son says, when it comes to color and the white man, He can dig the white boys.  They are cool, funny and make great friends during school age years and even throughout college, it is only the grown white men that are a menace, the ones who are groomed by their ancestors to breed hate and a superior mind set, set, well bent on crushing the spirit of the primary target, a young and old black man!  I thought this revelation was significant in that it was true!  There are many, many young white men who are cool as spring water!  Sweet, funny, and a joy to be around.  Then flip the script and look at the older, establishment made white man and you see an entirely different picture.  You see dread and evil and fear embedded in the mind of those who want nothing less than your soul and most particularly the soul of our brothers! 

Why?  And when does this metamorphosis occur in these humans?  How can it happen over and over again over the years?  GOD will never explain it to me because he said it all in two word, and I guess this should be explanation enough, Free Will.

I don't want to go on tomorrow.  I don't have anything to look forward to.  They have taken it all away.  I can't go to a doctor, I can't go to a dentist, I can only face the ones who would have my life in a folded piece of paper, so they may read my obituary, with a slight smile on their faces, knowing they had taken another one down.

Existing, that is all we do