What is one day, in the life of one?

We don't consciously think of or even attempt to feel our following of each day as it passes away.  We don't reflect back each evening on what has transpired and how it will impact the next.  Not unless for some reason the preceding day holds a particular consequence for the forthcoming.  Unless of course we are told of some impending thing of glory or despair,   Then we count our days as one possessed!  Trying to be sure to get all that each day may offer.

Why only under dire circumstances is this the case I always wonder?  Each day is a gift for certain with it's own unique challenges to get through, or joys to relish and try to contain for future reference. 

This day has been a day of reflection as well.  I spent it in bed sick with fever, massive head aching and a sense of nauseum that would neither leave me, or fulfill it's own mission and find it's way out of my system.  After a full day of rest, probably most needed, a night of cautious determination to review and complete the things of the day missed.  Of course with the determination comes the realisation that tasks missed cannot be made up, no matter the heart to try.

I lose myself in old movies, classic black and ones that possess no real significance to anyone else yet they keep me safe from the outside world and all of the influences that would have my ruin.  The callous collectors of my debts, the parasites that wish to control my fate, the ones who wish to take my health away from me and give me my death in return for their vain and ambitious greed.  Yet greed is not their only ______, it is much more than that.  It is the pleasure derived in suppressing another's heart!  The pleasure in seeing another fail and being able to take responsibility for the failure that makes some of them tick and happy with their own lives.

So the old movies keep me sane and in tune with what I must do.  The obvious distraction keeps me focused on what is important and more strategically, keeps me away from what would harm my mind with poisonous non facts.

There was a time when I believed all that was on the news.  CBS, NBC and ABC were as true as the gospels when I was a little girl of ten and thirteen.  I honestly believed what was there on their film and live views of daily "news".  Then with GOD's grace I discovered the word "propaganda" as defined in college literature and journalism class and behold, came quickly the reality of the "White Man's" lies.  Told over and over again to influence the masses.  And influence the masses this medium has.  And it is totally dependent upon the masses having limited knowledge in general.  This medium works well toward securing the properties of capitalism by banking on three things:  First, the fact that the audiences crave knowing something about the world they live in, Second the fact that the audiences have limited true educational foundations on which to build independent views, Third the two previous facts allow for pure manipulation of the masses.  This formula has been an intricate part of America's scheme, America's rise in capitalism.

Back to the day at hand.  Ten calls were missed, probably more.  The dream I had was significant though.  I went back to my early school days.  I recalled the significance of a teacher who met so much to me and I saw her picture engraved on a school wall.  Children who loved her had placed their initials all around her photo.  I searched for mine, I wanted them to be there so I could boast I suppose on my love of this beloved teacher so many years ago.  But I didn't find it, so I put my initials there right then.  I looked around, walked around the school with my cousin Veronica and my sister Pete, yet my sister and my daughter kept chancing roles as my dream, whelm required.   As we walked around the building, I wandered into a room that was performing puppet shows.  The performance was one that I had seen as a little girl and I became mesmerized all over again.  It was a wonderful performance about a little girl who is excited about the upcoming holiday season and she is riding in a beautiful sleigh and night was approaching, then the scene of the book I remembered as a little girl, and the pool and my embarrassment of being afraid to get in while other little children laughed at me.  These were the primary factors, the teacher, the show, the book and the pool.  They stood out in my mind as major points, sharp memories that meant something to me once.  My thing is, how many major things touch our lives as we grow and we place them in folders in our minds and forget about them.  Do we get to revisit them ever?  Is it only music that we try and grab hold of from time to time to recall feelings of warmth and genuine love?

Sort of like when certain smells bring back memories of good or bad.  Sort of like that.

So this day is lost, gone actually because now it is after midnight.  I can feel the head ache right on the edge hoping to make an appearance again soon.  Why, I don't know since it is not wanted here.  Waiting for my child to come back with either what I wanted, asked for, or just coming back in general so I may rest again.  Come on in Rav, Mom's waiting.

Sleep til tomorrow, Sunday and then the fight again on Monday, with the one's who would have my demise on a platter, happy to see me fall.

Isn't this time reminiscent to some of you as the time of the French Revolution?  When Louis and was it Victoria were in power and so rich it was disgusting to even look at them in their finery.  And the people were poor, with nothing to hold on to.  They worked and worked for nothing, losing most of what they had built to a system designed to take.  The revolt began slowly and I can see the same thing happening now.  The rich do not want the poor or even the middle class to have anything.  They call it "socialism" in the name of greed as if the word where a bad, nasty thing, social.  To be social, to care about others, to care about others besides yourself.  This has been made to be a bad thing.

So my day ends or begins with more rest.  And then tomorrow I will try and make sense of what is right and wrong and concentrate on the right and attempt to pursue it and incorporate it into my day, take advantage of what I can, to make the most of it as they say.  And discard the bad.

Tomorrow, tomorrow..

Again.