The Finish Line...

Is it near?  Is it anywhere in sight?  Am I close to getting where I am suppose to be?  Will this race go on forever?  Is this really death and am I in hell?  Do we die to be born into a new world?  Will my karma be different if I am born again?  Will my luck change?  Is this luck at all?  Were the members of my family cursed?  Did we all, collectively do something hideous and hence the reason for our pitiful lives?  Will we always be on the cusp of something else?  Will we always be window watchers, left outside in the cold?  When will the rain stop?  When will the wet shoes dry?  How can so many others find peace and my soul be in constant turmoil?  Are blue skies real?  Will the sun really burn me?  Does the twight light zone exist?  Why can't I cast a bewitch spell for peace and comfort?  How much more can I take?  Who will open up the gate?  Why was that one better than me?  Am I better than them?  When will my daughter not hate me anymore?  When will there be enough of everything to just satisfy ourselves?  Are there really many others like this?  Is this the American dream?  Where is my talent?  Do I have any or one?  Did I hurt my children?  Am I a detriment to them?  Why wasn't there enough time to do the job right?  When did I lose my sight? When did I lose my best?  Aunt Georgia, Mother and Michael and the rest?  What is better?  Will I ever get the big tub?  Will I ever get a soft scrub?  Will I see the ocean again?  If there is a heaven, will we get in?  Does the earth revolve around me?  Did Van Gogh know something we do not?  Will I get to try absinthe for clarity? Will my sons be stronger in this world than me?  Will my son be strong enough to fight?  Will the other make the million he deserves?  Will he find disappointment is a familiar, family curse?  Why can't I find peace?  Where is the finish line?  Why can't I see it?  Is it near?  Or am I in it, is it here?